


Dear Allison

by JJ_Smith



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Epistolary, F/M, Grief/Mourning, M/M, Moving On, Romance, Slow Burn, letters to dead girlfriend
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-05-26 17:44:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 44
Words: 8,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6249454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JJ_Smith/pseuds/JJ_Smith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Allison's death, Scott decides to write a letter to her. It becomes his way of coping with her death and slowly becomes the way he deals with other hardships as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm going to try to update this fic daily with a new letter. They won't be very long, but I figured this would be a fun project to do.

Dear Allison,

 

You’re dead.

You died.

You’re not here anymore and I’m pretty sure you took a part of my heart with you. I don’t know what to do or how to survive this. I need you.

Is it weird that I’m writing to you? I don’t know… I hope it’ll help me deal with this.

Is it nice where you are? I hope so. You deserve that. Still, if you could come back I’d really appreciate that. Life is empty without you. It’s only been a day, but it already feels like an eternity.

Please come back.

 

I love you,

Scott


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I remembered to update! (Let's see how long I can remember to update daily for...)

Dear Allison,

 

We buried you today. You’re next to your mother now. I hope you’re with her again; I know how much you missed her.

I spoke at the funeral. I didn’t think I was able to, but I managed with only minimal crying. Your dad couldn’t get a word out. It was so strange seeing him speechless like that.

It felt like you were watching us. I hope you liked the ceremony, it wasn’t too long or anything. Lydia picked the music, which you probably guessed. It felt very you.

If you want to come back, feel free. You’re missed.

 

I love you,

Scott


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost forgot to upload today's letter... oops.

Dear Allison,

 

I actually called you today. It took me a couple of minutes before I remembered why you weren’t answering. I listened to your voicemail message just to hear your voice again. Pathetic, right? I miss you so much.

Summer sucks without you. We’re all trying to recover from losing you and everything else that happened, but there’s also this fear of what’s going to come find us next. 

I wish we could go back to before everything went wrong so we could be normal teenagers again.

 

I love you,

Scott


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy anniversary of Allison's death!

Dear Allison,

 

I saw Stiles at your grave today when I went to visit you. I know I shouldn’t have, but I listened in on him. He blames himself for what happened. You don’t blame him, right? I’m sure you don’t. It wasn’t his fault; he was possessed. Still, I can’t imagine what he went through. I didn’t know he remembers everything that happened.

I know I should have gone to him to comfort him, but I couldn’t. I had no idea what to say. Does that make me a bad friend? I try so hard to be there for everyone, but sometimes I just don’t know what to do or say. If you could give me some sort of sign that I’m doing the right thing, I’d really appreciate it.

I hope you’re happy where you are.

 

I love you,

Scott


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I came so close to forgetting to update today. But I remembered just in time!

Dear Allison,

 

I’ve been spending some time lazing around with Stiles, repairing our friendship. I didn’t realize how much our friendship suffered over everything that had happened. You’ve been dead for almost a month now. Maybe it’s time I stop writing to you. I need to move on and I can’t do that if I keep writing you.

I keep reminding myself that you’re in a better place now. You don’t have to worry about the next big evil any more. You also don’t have to worry about going to college and keeping up your grades on top of fighting evil.

So, this is it. The last letter I write to you. I’m officially saying goodbye to you. I have Kira, and she’s amazing. It’s not fair to her if I keep writing you.

 

I’ll always love you,

Scott


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Allison,

 

In my defense, it’s been a while since I last wrote to you, but so much has happened and I don’t know who else to talk to.

I died. I actually died. I was dead for fifteen minutes. I think I saw you there, waiting for me. Was that really you, or was my mind playing tricks on me? I hope it was you. I feel less bad about dying if I know you’re waiting for me.

I mean, I love Kira and she’s amazing, but you were my first love. Kira knows a part of me will always love you and she’s okay with that, as long as I love her too.

I like to believe you’re happy for me. Kira’s an amazing girl and I love her so much. She’s one of the few positives in this dark, crazy world. 

I’m losing my pack. Stiles killed someone, and I have no idea if it was self defense or not. Liam tried to kill me. Lydia’s in Eichen House and Kira left with her mom to train the fox. Malia’s the only one who’s talking to me, and even she’s hiding something from me. I’m pretty sure she’s looking for her mom and she’s going to do something I don’t approve of. 

Maybe I should be okay with Malia killing her mother, I mean the woman did try to kill Malia first.

No, I can’t approve that. I believe in second chances, and third chances, fourth chances. I won’t stop her, though, this is her battle. 

Do you think I can still fix this? I need to protect this town, but I’m not sure I can any more. I can’t even keep my pack together. What kind of Alpha am I? How can I stay positive in all this?

Allison, what do I do?

 

Love,

Scott


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Allison,

 

I’m slowly fixing things. I made up with Stiles. We finally just talked about it and it turns out we were both being played by Theo. Liam and I made up, but my mom’s still angry with him. I understand that, if someone had tried to kill my son I’d be reluctant to forgive them too.

Kira’s back! I missed her so much. I didn’t even realize exactly how much until I saw her again. We may have grossed out Stiles and her mom by kissing most of the drive home. I have absolutely zero regrets about that.

There’s so much bad stuff happening, but I don’t want to tell you that. I feel like my entire life is lived in fights, but there’s more to it. There’s happy stuff too. There’s stolen moments with Kira and games with Stiles. I think it’s important to focus on that too.

So, no more bad stuff in these letters.

I wonder how long that lasts…

 

Love,

Scott


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Allison,

 

The Beast of Gévaudan is back.

Yes, I know, I wasn’t going to write any more bad stuff. Unfortunately this is Beacon Hills and it’s hard to have happy moments here. I’m almost tempted to pack my stuff, grab the pack and my mom, and just leave town and never look back. I can’t leave innocent people behind defenseless, that’s the only thing that’s keeping me here. 

I’ve been so busy fighting evil that I didn’t have time to visit your grave this week. Rationally, I know that that’s okay; I had more pressing matters. Still, I feel so guilty. I’m sorry, Ally. I’ll bring you a nice bouquet of flowers this weekend, I promise.

Life will have to get better eventually, right? It has to.

I hope you’re looking out for me and the others.

Now, no more bad stuff in these letters. For real this time!

 

Love,

Scott


	9. Chapter 9

Dear Allison,

 

So, no bad news this time. Only positive stuff…

It’s really difficult to think of something positive.

I heard from Derek! That’s positive. He’s pretty happy. He’s currently in Brazil with Cora, which has been really good for him. Cora’s been annoying him relentlessly, but that’s part of being a younger sister, right? I didn’t tell him how bad stuff has gotten here. I don’t want him to worry about us now that he’s finally found happiness again.

I sent in my application for UC Davis. I’m so nervous already! I want to get in so badly, but it’s been really hard to keep up my grades with everything else that has been going on. If you could send some good vibes my way, that’d be super! You could be like my guardian angel, Ally! Wouldn’t that be awesome?

Wow, I managed to write a positive letter to you. Go me!

 

Love,

Scott


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had a good day which ended crappy with my laptop breaking and me now being 700 euros in debt to my mom... yay!   
> Anyway, here's the update.

Dear Allison,

 

While I’m writing this, I’m going to pretend that nothing bad is going on. Nothing whatsoever. Everything’s rainbow and sunshine. Yep. No bad stuff. None whatsoever.

Derek’s thinking of adopting a baby. I think that’ll be great for him. He’s met some people in Brazil who run this orphanage for the supernatural and he’s been volunteering there. Apparently there’s this little girl that follows Derek around wherever he goes. Cora sent me this cute video of this two year old following Derek around! It’s so adorable, you’d love it. I hope he adopts her, because he’d be a great dad. He’s come so far these last few years, I can’t help but be proud.

It’s nice to see that at least one of us is happy and getting somewhere in life. 

I haven’t really heard from Jackson, though I’ll admit I haven’t tried very hard to reach out to him.

Isaac’s still in France, and he’s pretty happy there. We haven’t spoken much lately, he has a new pack now and I think it’s better if he doesn’t think too much about what he left behind. It wasn’t exactly nice for him here.

So, another happy letter without evil or anything. Everything’s fine.

 

Love,

Scott


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so proud of myself for remembering to update this. Go me!

Dear Allison,

 

There’s still nothing bad happening here. 

Oh, who am I kidding? Life here sucks. Maybe you’re lucky to be dead, because it means you don’t have to deal with all of this.

Derek invited me to spend a couple weeks with him this summer. I suspect my pack set him up to it, to give me a break. I do love the idea of going to Brazil and I should get used to being away from this town, since I’m hopefully going to leave this town next year. What do you think? Will a summer in Brazil do me good?

 

love,

Scott


	12. Chapter 12

Dear Allison,

 

I might not be able to go to college. I missed the deadline for my scholarship application. I’ve tried finding other options, but nothing I try seems to work out for me. I’ve been so busy with everything that’s been going on that I completely forgot to send it in. I feel like an idiot.

I think I might take a year off and work fulltime to save up. I can’t think of a better solution. I haven’t told Stiles yet, I have no idea how to tell him. He’s been planning our big college adventure for so long and now I messed it all up.

There’s one positive thing about this, though, which is that for once I have a normal teenager problem again! It’s refreshing.

 

love,

Scott


	13. Chapter 13

Dear Allison,

 

We’ve dealt with the big evil just in time. School’s been getting busier and busier and I have no idea how I would have been able to do this and fight evil. I told Stiles about the scholarship thing, and he took it surprisingly well. I’m pretty sure he’s trying to figure something out, so the real disappointment will come later when he realizes this is something he can’t fix with duct tape.

The whole supernatural thing has become like a public secret at our school. By now almost everyone has seen at least one werewolf or other creature. You can hear people talk about it sometimes in the hallways. I don’t know how far the secret has spread, but so far no one has cowered away from me in fear or threatened to shoot me with a silver bullet, so I guess it’s all good.

Kira left again. She has no idea how long she’s going to be gone for this time. It’s like the universe doesn’t want us to be happy.

I have a whole stack of letters to you now. I think I might invest in a nice box to keep them in. Something that reminds me of you.

 

love,

Scott


	14. Chapter 14

Dear Allison,

 

Your dad told us that he was going to have to get rid of your stuff, so we should all look through it to see if there’s anything we’d want to take with us. He’s leaving town again and he can’t take everything with him. I think it also hurts him too much to see your things constantly.

I took your jewelry box. The jewelry went to Lydia, because she’ll actually use it, but I’m using the box for these letters. It still smells so strongly of you; it’s comforting. The box looks right on my desk. You’ll always have a place in my life, literally like this.

Derek bought my ticket to go to Brazil today. It’s really happening! I’m so excited. Derek keeps sending me pictures of where he lives and it looks so beautiful. I can hardly wait to visit. His little girl is adorable too. He looks so happy in the pictures he sends. Well, it’s mostly Cora who sends the pictures, to annoy Derek.

According to Stiles whenever I talk about Derek I smile the same way I used to when I talked about you. Could I really be getting a crush on Derek Hale? What about Kira? Why is everything so confusing? Can I get a manual for life?

 

love,

Scott

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to sound like I'm whining or attention seeking, but if anyone's reading this, I'd really appreciate a comment. Just a simple 'I liked it' will do. I mean, I'll continue to post this even if no one's reading, but I'd love to hear what people think about this.


	15. Chapter 15

Dear Allison,

 

School is going well. I have enough time for it now and my grades are up again. Mom looked so proud when I told her I aced my AP Biology test. It’s been a while since I brought home such good grades. That was before I got bitten. It seems like a lifetime ago.

I’ve been busy looking for a job next year. Deaton said he can offer me more hours, but he can’t afford to hire me full time. So, I need another job. I want to save up as much as I can next year, to make my college life easier.

Stiles is still refusing to believe I can’t go to college next year. I wish I had his optimism that this will all work out. I really want to go to college with him and get an apartment together, but I know it’s not in the cards right now. Maybe we can do that in a year’s time. Hopefully…

 

Love,

Scott


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Allison,

 

I got my letter from UC Davis today. I got in.

I actually got in.

I got into my dream school and I can’t afford to go.

Life’s not fair.

 

Love,

Scott


	17. Chapter 17

Dear Allison,

 

I’ve been so upset over the whole ‘not being able to go to college’ thing that I didn’t even tell my mom that I got in. She found the letter today. The talk that we had wasn’t pretty. I may have cried (I totally cried).

She ordered in pizza afterwards, as comfort food. I know it’s hitting her hard as well that she can’t afford to send me to college. But, things are the way they are, right? Nothing I can do about any of that.

The job hunt hasn’t been successful yet… Surely something positive must happen soon.

Right?

 

Love,

Scott


	18. Chapter 18

Dear Allison,

 

Stiles is planning something and I have no idea what it is. I’m pretty sure the rest of the pack is involved. My mom might also be in on it. They’re all acting fidgety around me and keeping secrets. I almost got Liam to talk, but Mason dragged him away right as he was about to crack.

I’m glad I made up with Liam, even if my mom still hates him. I’m going to miss him when I do finally leave for college. I only have a small pack, but they’re my family. Soon we’re all going to be apart, I hope it won’t be too hard on me.

Life’s pretty good right now. No new evil has announced itself and Deaton thinks he may have solved the nemeton problem. Hopefully we’re finally entering a time of peace again here. Can you give me a heads up if anything bad approaches? I’d really appreciate that.

 

Love,

Scott


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Allison.

 

Stiles is officially the best bestfriend ever. He’s been going around town collecting money for my college fund. So many people wanted to help me out! I feel so loved right now. The whole pack has been going around for me, my mom asked the people in the hospital and the Sheriff also helped out. I was in tears when Stiles told me.

I can go to college!!!

Several people gave Stiles letters to give to me too. They wanted to thank me for saving them and this town. I can hardly believe it. I never thought so many people would care about me. This town isn’t all bad, bad things just happen to it. That’s been proven to me today. I’m glad I didn’t run away. 

I still can’t fully believe I’m actually going to go to college. It’s so surreal. I’d completely accepted that I’d have to wait a year, but now I don’t have to. Stiles found a studio apartment we can afford. It’s small, but we can cram two beds in there. I don’t mind living with a stranger, but I know Stiles would hate that. He’s not good at making friends and I don’t think he’d function well in closed quarters with a stranger. So, this is the best solution for us.

I’m so excited already. My dreams are coming true. My luck has finally turned around!

 

Love,

Scott


	20. Chapter 20

Dear Allison,

 

Life has been so hectic lately, and for once it’s not because of the supernatural. I’m finishing up school and preparing for next year with Stiles. We’re hunting for bargains to get everything for our apartment. Our apartment, you have no idea how good that feels to say. Stiles and I have an apartment. It’s not the studio apartment I told you about last time, that one was already gone by the time we contacted them. It’s a one bedroom apartment and we’re going to share the bedroom. It’s small, like extremely small, but we’re going to make it work. We’ve made a budget to get all the stuff we need, so we’re looking out for bargains and second hand stuff. Mom has already promised to send us care packages with healthy food so we don’t eat too much crap.

It’s really happening!!!

 

Love,

Scott


	21. Chapter 21

Dear Allison,

 

I’m graduating today! I can hardly believe it’s finally happening! There were times when I didn’t think I’d make it this far, to be honest. Now, here we are. Mom’s getting ready for the ceremony right now. Stiles keeps texting me, he’s pretty nervous and afraid he’ll trip on the podium. I thought I’d be nervous as well, but I’m surprisingly calm. I’ve worked hard for this, and it’s paid off. 

Dad called me last week to ask when the ceremony was. Am I a terrible person for lying to him and saying he’d just missed it? I don’t want him here today. I did this on my own, without his help. He doesn’t deserve to be there.

I’ve been thinking lately about changing my name. It’d be nice to go into this next part of my life with my mother’s name, Delgado. I know it’s harsh to do this now that my dad’s trying to reach out again, but it’s too late for him to repair the damage. 

I do struggle with it, though. A part of me wants to give him another chance, but it hurts too much. I think that for once I can be selfish in this. I’ll think about it a little while longer. First there’s graduation and this weekend I’m leaving to Brazil for three weeks! I love that I’m able to write positive things in these letters to you without omitting 80% of what’s happening in my life.

Well, I’ve got to go now.

 

Love,

Scott


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to upload the new chapter yesterday... :( I was doing so well with updating daily. Anyway... here's the new one. Also, the rating's going to go up because Scott's going to get lucky!

Dear Allison,

 

As I’m writing this I’m on the plane to Brazil for three weeks of relaxation. Three whole weeks without worrying about anything! It sounds like pure heaven. Derek lives in a small town where almost everyone’s a werewolf. Apparently this pack became so big that they just started building a city. They bought a lot of land and built houses. It’s supposed to be amazing. It’s close to the beach too! I’m going to drag Derek out to the beach and we’re going to learn to surf. I can’t wait to watch Derek trying to surf, it’s going to be ridiculous! I had to promise Stiles I’d send him pictures. Derek’s going to be waiting for me at the airport with his daughter, Rayen. My heart does not skip a beat when I think about that. I do not have a crush on Derek Hale, no matter what Stiles says. 

 

Love,

Scott


	23. Chapter 23

Dear Allison,

 

It’s beautiful here, I wish you could have been here with me. I was hit with this wave of grief today. It’s weird how it comes and goes. I can be doing well for weeks or months and suddenly it’ll hit me again that you’re gone. Today was one of those days. Not the best start of my vacation. I kept thinking about how much you’d love the view here.

Rayen is absolutely adorable, though. She simply adores Derek and follows him everywhere. Derek looks so happy. Do you think I could be that happy too one day? I hope so.

It’s beautiful here, I’m already dreading leaving this place. Derek cooked for us, and what a sight that was, Derek cooking! It’s so domestic and perfect. 

I still do not have a crush on him, just so you know. There are no feelings there. I love Kira. I mean, I don’t even know yet whether or not I like guys! So, no feelings for Derek.

 

Love,

Scott


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I haven't updated in a couple of days. I'm going to be honest, I'm just not motivated to continue updating. I have more written but it just feels like I'm talking to a wall.   
> If anyone's reading this, please just let me know? Right now I'm not sure I'm going to continue this. I'm considering just writing it for myself at this point.

Dear Allison,

 

I went for a run this morning with Derek. Apparently he does that every morning at six. It was surprisingly nice to do; I felt full of energy the rest of the day. He made breakfast for us afterwards. It was an amazing start of the day. 

He showed around town and introduced me to everyone. I had no idea being a true alpha was such a big deal! The alpha asked if we could be allies! She wanted that so badly, it was so strange to experience. I had no idea it was such a big deal. 

She told me she'd contact packs closer to me as well, so we can have help the next time something bad happens. This trip is already turning out to be the best idea ever. 

I spent most of the afternoon finger painting with Rayen. I made a true masterpiece! 

 

Love, 

Scott 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scott's finally taking some time to relax and have fun.

Dear Allison,

 

I kissed a guy! Holy shit, I kissed a guy. I did more than kiss him, actually. Okay, story time because I have to talk about this to someone and Stiles isn’t available right now.

So, I mentioned to Derek that I’d like to climb a mountain, since there’s one close to us. Derek’s not a climber, but he knew someone in town who does love that stuff. His name’s Juan. And holy shit is he hot! 

So, Juan took me climbing up to this cliff that has a marvellous view. I took so many pictures to make Stiles jealous. It was gorgeous. 

While enjoying the view, Juan and I started talking. Then we started kissing. I now know I definitely love kissing boys. So, we were kissing and then he started touching me. Still pretty innocent, over my clothes. I started touching him too, feeling his chest (muscles! So many muscles!) and then I started lifting his shirt. I have no idea what came over me, but I needed to feel his skin. Juan took off his shirt and just… wow. I’m so bi.

I feel scandalous even just writing this… I gave him a blowjob.

I gave my first blowjob on a mountain in Brazil!

Stiles would be proud of me, I’m sure of it.

I don’t know what this means about me and Kira… I mean, she told me it’d be okay if I moved on or dated other people while she was gone. I didn’t think I would, I thought I’d be okay with just waiting, but then Juan came along. I don’t want anything serious with him. I won’t move here permanently and Juan’s not interested in coming to the States. It was just a one time thing. I had casual sex. This is so unlike me, but I really enjoyed it.

 

Love,

Scott


	26. Chapter 26

Dear Allison,

 

The thing with Juan is definitely not a one time thing. Holy shit.

So, today I managed to take Derek surfing with me. Cora came with us to watch Rayen play on the beach. Can I just take a moment to tell you how gorgeous Derek Hale looks when he’s all wet? I definitely have a crush on him, there’s no denying it. But, there’s nothing wrong with having a crush on someone. I can have a crush on him and still love Kira.

He sucked at the surfing thing, but he tried and I’m pretty sure he had fun. I do know that Cora enjoyed watching Derek fall off his surfboard constantly.

I was pretty decent at surfing by the end of the day. That’s when Juan came around. I told Derek I wanted to stay out a bit longer, and he should go home so he could feed Rayen who was definitely becoming cranky. I caught a few waves with Juan and then we had sex on the beach.

I know that that sounds romantic, but it’s really not. There was sand everywhere! Thankfully we had the ocean nearby to clean up. 

The sex was amazing, though. I had no idea how great this would feel! How do I put this nicely? I have no idea. He fucked me. I took it up the ass. 

Wow, that feels weird to write to my ex girlfriend… you don’t mind, do you? I mean, we played around with that a bit and I enjoyed that. If you do mind, send a bolt of thunder or something to show I should stop.

Anyway… it was great! Amazing! Fantastic! This trip was the best idea ever!

 

Love,

Scott


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've almost run out of pre-written letters... I need to start writing some new ones soon!

Dear Allison,

 

There has been no thunder, so I think it’s safe to assume you don’t mind me talking about sex with you. This has been so weird, I didn’t come out here to hook up with anyone, it just happened. Not that I’m complaining! It’s been great and I’m exploring a whole new side of my sexuality. Besides, Juan is incredibly hot. 

Cora knows about us and she’s enjoying herself way too much. She’s constantly making innuendos. It was fun when she was teasing Derek, it’s a lot less fun when she’s teasing me! Derek has been shooting me weird looks, so I’m sure he knows too by now. I hope he’s not judging me too much… 

I can’t believe my trip is almost over already! I only have a couple more days to go. I’m going to miss this place when I get back, but I can’t stay. I have to move into our new apartment with Stiles! I’m so looking forward to that. College is going to be amazing. My life is going to be amazing!

 

Love,

Scott


	28. Chapter 28

Dear Allison,

 

I’m on my way back home. Rayen was very reluctant to let me go and Derek had to promise her that they’d come visit me before she let go of my leg. It was adorable!!! Juan didn’t come to the airport with us; we said our goodbyes last night. With sex. I’m going to miss sex with him.

For once we had sex in an actual bed, can you believe it? We thought our last time should be special like that. I rode him until we both almost passed out. It was amazing!

I can hardly believe how happy I am these days; I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. I want to hope that things will stay this amazing, but I know it can’t last. I’ll enjoy every happy day like it’s my last. I can’t wait to tell Stiles about everything that happened, including the thing with Juan. I think I’ll leave out Juan when I tell mom about my trip, there’s no reason for her to know about that.

I asked Derek about his opinion on me changing my name, and he said I should do it if it makes me feel better. I think I’ll go through with it.

We’re landing soon, so I should wrap things up. Writing these letters is really helping me. It’s almost like keeping a diary, only better. I’ll write you again soon.

 

Love,

Scott


	29. Chapter 29

Dear Allison,

 

So, I told Stiles about Juan and he told me he’s proud of me for unwinding and letting myself have fun. He also told me that he’s into guys too, but he never knew how to bring it up to me. This is such a relief, because now I can be absolutely sure there won’t be any weirdness if I ever bring home a guy. 

I brought up wanting to change my last name to my mom, and she nearly cried. She couldn’t believe I’d want to take her maiden name. We’re both going to change it! It’s going to take some getting used to, but I don’t mind that. I can hardly wait to be Scott Delgado!

I’m going to be really busy for a while now, with moving and everything. I also promised Liam I’d spend some time with him before leaving. It’s going to hurt leaving him, but we’ll manage. We’ve been through a lot already.

My life’s changing again, but this time it’s a good change. 

 

Love,

Scott


	30. Chapter 30

Dear Allison,

 

This is the first letter I’m writing to you from my brand new apartment!!! Stiles and I moved in today. We haven’t unpacked everything yet, and there’s still more stuff to buy, but it’s our home now! We don’t have any pans yet, so we ordered in Chinese food. I suspect that’ll happen more often. We’ll probably have leftovers for breakfast. It’s a very healthy start to our new life…

We’re not going to tell our parents, they’d be so disappointed. I swear we’ll actually cook our dinner soon. Probably. 

Besides being the first letter written to you from my new apartment, it’s also the first letter I write with my new name. I’m officially Scott Delgado now! Everyone’s been so supportive of my name change. Dad doesn’t know yet, but it’s only been a little while. He’ll blow up soon enough.

Classes are starting in a few days, I’m so excited to learn new things. I know it’ll be tough, but I’m determined to make it work. I’m going to make everyone proud.

Life’s exciting, isn’t it?

 

Love,

Scott


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot to update again yesterday, didn't I? Sorry!!! I only have one more letter written, so I have to write more quickly. Updates me be a bit more irregular from now on, but I'll try to update daily.

Dear Allison,

 

College is amazing! It’s hard, but it’s the good kind of hard. It’s been a few weeks since my last letter, but that’s because I’ve been so busy. I found a job, as a pizza delivery guy. Combining that with school is tough, but I’m managing.

Stiles isn’t doing too good with school. He’s having trouble focusing on doing his homework. I’m helping him out, though. I drag him to the library with me to make homework as often as I can. As much as he protests, he’s thankful. He told me once. 

I miss my mom and the pack quite a bit. I’m thankful that I’m so busy, because it means I don’t have a lot of time to miss them. Mom has sent a care package every week so far, with a letter telling me how much she misses having me around. She sends healthy stuff, like promised, but she also makes sure to include some nice treats for us. She sent us cookies she baked herself in the last package; they were so good!

Living with Stiles is still great. We’ve gotten into a good rhythm. I cook, he does the dishes. Mom taught me how to cook a bit, and I’m getting a lot better. I’ve only burnt dinner twice and once was because Stiles kept distracting me. Stiles tried cooking once, in our first week here. He nearly set the kitchen on fire so he’s banned from cooking.

I’d write more, but I’m going to drag Stiles to the library for a few hours before work starts.

 

Love,

Scott


	32. Chapter 32

Dear Allison,

 

My dad exploded today, it was an amazing sight. He finally found out about my name change and he was pissed. He didn’t call me, no he actually came to visit me! If I didn’t have this supernatural strength, I would have no doubt been scared. My God, he was so angry, Ally! 

And I just sat there, smiling serenely, according to Stiles. He enjoyed it way too much. I just let dad yell at me for a while before I told him; “and that’s exactly why I changed it.” Man, the look on his face! Priceless. I told him how Stiles’ dad was more of a dad to me than he ever was and that my mom practically raised me on her own. I told him that he didn’t feel like a dad to me, so I didn’t want to share his last name. Then I politely asked him to leave.

He just stood there, speechless, for several minutes before he told me that he wouldn’t take this kind of behavior from me. He told me that I’d better start treating him with some respect.

So, I told him that people have to earn respect and it was too late for him to do that. I asked him again to leave, still politely. By this point Stiles was barely holding it together, I should add.

Well, my dad wasn’t happy with that, in fact it only angered him more. So he made himself as tall as he could and he told me that there’d be consequences if I didn’t apologize.

I asked him what consequences there would be, since he’s not a part of my life. It’s not like he could ground me, since I live on my own, and he can’t take away money because I’m not getting any from him. Really, there’s nothing he could do.

He had no idea what to say to that. He stood there fuming for several minutes, clearly trying to think of a comeback. Which is when Stiles finally burst out in laughter. My dad started yelling at him, and that’s when I’d had enough. I jumped up, stood between Stiles and him and told him to leave. I wasn’t going to let him treat my best friend and brother that way. I told him he could either walk out himself, or let me kick him out. He didn’t leave himself, so I threw him out. I literally picked him up and threw him out into the hallway. He looked so shocked! He clearly didn’t think I’d be able to do that.

It was an amazing day, Ally! It was so worth it to change my name. I hope you were able to enjoy the show as well.

 

Love,

Scott


	33. Chapter 33

Dear Allison,

 

I haven’t heard from my dad since I kicked him out, thankfully. I hope he’ll never show his face here again; I’m done with him. 

School has been amazing! I’m so glad I got to go, I’m not taking a single minute here for granted. I’m studying as hard as I can to get as much out of this opportunity as possible. 

I do miss mom and the pack a lot, though. Liam’s coming to visit soon and Stiles is already pretending to be annoyed. We all know he secretly loves Liam like a little brother, but no one’s allowed to bring that up. Mason’s probably going to tag along as well, but he hasn’t gotten the okay from his parents yet. 

God, what else is there to tell you about? Um… my love life’s pretty much non-existent at the moment. I just don’t have time for that. I still think about Kira a lot, and the crush on Derek’s still going strong, but I haven’t gone out with anyone. However, Stiles is very busy exploring all aspects of his sexuality. He’s like the energizer bunny, there’s no stopping him! We have made a rule that he’s not allowed to bring his dates home any more. I walked in on him balls deep in some guy’s ass once and I hope to never see that again. I mean, sure, Stiles is attractive, but he’s like my brother! 

Well, I’ve got this big paper I should be working on. I should stop procrastinating. 

 

Love,

Scott.


	34. Chapter 34

Dear Allison,

 

Mason and Liam just left. I’m really sad to see them go, but we had an amazing weekend! I showed them around campus (Stiles was still sleeping) and we basically had a sleepover. I’ve really missed having my pack close to me. In a few years I’ll have that again, though. Hopefully…

It just dawned on me that they could all choose to stay away from Beacon Hills and now I’m even sadder. This sucks! I don’t want to lose them permanently!

Okay, I need to go for a run or something to clear my head.

 

Love,

Scott


	35. Chapter 35

Dear Allison,

 

Sorry about the pretty abrupt end to the last letter. I just made myself feel all upset and down. I’m still not feeling too great. I miss you a lot and I’m scared of losing the others as permanently as I lost you. It’s not even that I’m scared of them dying, I’m scared they don’t want to come back. I’m scared they’ll leave. Like Derek and Kira did. I hate that people are constantly leaving.

I guess I left as well this year…

My mind’s just a mess. Thankfully I have school and my job to keep me occupied so I don’t have too much time to be sad and think about this.

Anyway, let’s get back to Mason and Liam visiting us. It was so great to have them here again! They remind me quite a bit of me and Stiles, even though they haven’t known each other as long as Stiles and I have. They’re both considering moving out here too, which would be awesome! I’d love to have them closer again. 

I had a Skype call with Derek and Rayen the other day, which was amazing. That little girl is just so cute! I love her so much, Ally, you have no idea. Derek told me he’s thinking about moving back to Beacon Hills for good. I hope he does, so I can spend more time with Rayen. Also with Derek, of course, since my crush is still going strong. Stiles keeps teasing me about it. I can’t talk about Derek without smiling. Ugh, why must my face always betray me like that?! I wish I had a good poker face.

Remember that time you tried to teach me how to play poker? I was so terrible at that! You kept laughing at me and then you’d apologize for that. You looked so beautiful when you were laughing, even if it was at my expense.

When will thinking about you stop hurting? Will it even ever stop hurting? I hope so. I think I’m going to call my mom, she always manages to cheer me up a little when I’m feeling sad about losing you.

 

Love,

Scott


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I've just disappeared on you all, but I had two weeks off from school and did basically nothing and recover mentally from the stress that comes with school. I'm going to try to be better from now on.   
> You can always come find me on Tumblr and bug me if I disappear again. I'm at scottiedelgado.tumblr.com

Dear Allison,

 

I’m feeling pretty down still. It’s been this way for a while and I can’t seem to shake this mood. Stiles is trying, though. He takes me out to parties and to bars as often as he can. It helps for a bit at times, but never for very long. 

I think it’s time I confess something, I still feel so guilty that I wasn’t able to save you. I’m so sorry. Maybe if I had paid more attention I could have saved you. It’s not fair that you had to die while I can continue to live on. You could have made so much of your life, Ally.

You probably think it’s silly of me to feel like this, right? I’m sorry. I’ll try to be more mature about this. I don’t want people to worry about me.

I’ll be okay. 

 

Love, 

Scott


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me uploading daily again. Go me!

Dear Allison,

 

It’s been a few weeks, and I’m not almost completely out of my funk, thanks to Stiles. He came home one day with a puppy for me to cheer me up. It helped immensely! It’s almost impossible to be upset when you’ve got a cute puppy bumbling about, desperate for attention.

She’s missing a leg, but that only makes her cuter. Stiles found her abandoned on the side of the road, the poor thing. I’ve nursed her back to health and she’s so happy now. Our neighbor watches her when both Stiles and I have classes. She’s a stay at home mom and happy to help us out. 

I hadn’t really talked to her before now, and I’ve been missing out. She’s amazing, her wife’s cool too! We’ve been having dinner together a lot lately. They have a six year old son who’s really into space. Stiles and I are taking him to a museum this weekend to give his moms a break. That should be fun.

Well, I’ve got a ton of schoolwork to do and a puppy to play with.

 

Love,

Scott


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was away for a while, so I can't help but wonder if people are still reading this... Please let me know if you are!

Dear Allison,

 

Stiles is just a big child. Seriously, he was happier to be at the museum than Billy was. Which is saying something, because Billy had the time of his life. It was amazing, though. I haven’t laughed this much in months. Life’s looking a lot better now, thankfully. I was worried there for a bit, to be honest. Stiles was worried too, but I’m okay now and so is he. We’re good.

Our puppy is adorable. We ended up naming her Cat. We may have been a little drunk when we decided on that name…

Stiles is trying to teach her how to sit, but it’s not really working so far. She’s as unable to sit still as Stiles is. It’s so cute. Cat always wakes us up in the morning. She jumps on my bed first and licks me until I wake up, then she goes to Stiles. She’s definitely better than an alarm clock.

I love Cat so much, I’m so glad Stiles got her. Life’s a lot better with her in it.

On days like these missing you doesn’t hurt as much.

 

Love,

Scott


	39. Chapter 39

Dear Allison,

 

Stiles never should have found out that werewolves can get drunk if the alcohol is laced with wolfsbane. Never. Ever. Oh, my god, I’m never drinking again.

I want to tell you what happened, but I’m too ashamed to even write it down. 

Never let me drink again, Allison. Find a way to stop me from beyond the grave next time I have a drink in my hands, please.

Never drinking again.

 

Love,

Scott


	40. Chapter 40

Dear Allison,

 

It’s been two days and I think I can tell you what happened now.

So, Stiles and I decided to play a drinking game while watching Twilight. It was definitely fun, but we got really drunk really quickly. So we started joking and one of us dared the other to kiss him. I’m not sure which one of us did that, but we kissed. And then we did more than kissing…

Things have been pretty awkward between us since then. We’re not ignoring each other by any means, but we do keep more distance between us. So many people used to think we were sleeping together because of how close we are, and now that it’s finally actually happened things have gotten weird. I don’t know how to fix this.

Do you have any hints for me?

 

Love,

Scott


	41. Chapter 41

Dear Allison,

 

Things are fixed between me and Stiles and we’re closer than ever. We were watching TV and we were both on opposite ends of the couch (normally we’re like glued together) and then we just started laughing about it all. We talked about it and agreed that even though the sex was good, we’d never do it again. It’ll just complicate things.

I’m so glad things are normal again. I can’t imagine life without Stiles as my best friend. I mean, we’ve been best friends since we were five! We’ll probably be best friends for life.

I hope.

 

Love,

Scott


	42. Chapter 42

Dear Allison, 

Kira came to visit!!! She’s not done training yet, but she was allowed to come visit me for a day. I just saw her off again, and it was so sad to see her go again.

We talked a lot. I told her about Juan and she wasn’t angry at all. I also told her about my crush on Derek, which was great. She didn’t tease me for it the way Stiles does. Speaking of Stiles, we sexiled him and had glorious sex. I mean, seriously, so good. I ate her out for what seemed like ages.

In the end we decided to break up. Training isn’t going too well and she says she might be gone for years. Kira doesn’t want to tie me down for that long. It hurts, but I know it’s better this way. I won’t feel so weird about my feelings for Derek now. 

Cat’s growing so big already! She’s amazing. Best dog ever! I can’t believe anyone would abandon her, she’s the sweetest thing! Well, their loss is my gain. 

 

Love,

Scott


	43. Chapter 43

Dear Allison

 

School is still great. It’s hard work, but I love learning new things. I miss home, of course, and my mom. She came by to visit last weekend. Stiles and I showed her around and cooked for her. I love that she’s like a mom to him as well, like his dad is a dad to me.

Did I ever tell you how Stiles and I have been planning to get them together for years? We were twelve when we first realized how awesome it would be if they got married. So far we haven’t succeeded yet, but we’re not giving up. We want to officially be brothers one day and our parents are perfect for each other.

Stiles and I spent like two days cleaning before mom came. Cat didn’t really help with the cleaning, that’s why it took two days. She kept jumping into things.

But, all in all, it was a successful visit and mom’s now convinced Stiles and I are somewhat capable adults.

 

Love,

Scott


	44. Chapter 44

Dear Allison,

 

It’s winter break!!!! Stiles and I went back to Beacon Hills to spend the holidays at home. It’s been amazing being back. You don’t realize how much your hometown means to you until you’ve left it. 

I stopped by Deaton as well and caught him up on everything that I’ve been doing. He told me that he’s proud of me; you have no idea how amazing that felt. He’s like a father to me, maybe even more so than the sheriff. It’s nice that even though my own father’s an ass, I have two extra dads in my life. He assured me that there’s a job waiting for me with him when I graduate, which is honestly such a relief. I couldn’t imagine a better place to work.

I mean, it’s still a little under eight years until I’m done, but it’s nice to have this in the future. It gives me something to look forward to.

Derek’s also coming back for Christmas. He was going to stay at a hotel, but as soon as my mom heard about that she invited him to stay with us. He told me he’s going to look for a house while he’s here!!! He’s going to move back!

Just fyi, my heart is totally not doing backflips. (Yes, it is.)

I introduced Rayen to Cat over Skype the other day, which was adorable. Rayen loves the name; Derek thinks we’re weird. But that’s okay, because Stiles and I are weird. 

Do you think I stand a chance with him? Should I tell him how I feel?

 

Love,

Scott


End file.
